You know that feeling you get when you’re on a rollercoaster ride and it starts making that clank-clank-clank noise as it creeps ever so slowly to the tippy top,— the earth falling away below until it looks like ants and toy buildings— just before it free-falls into a massive dip? Scary shit right there. I shudder, remembering.
In my home office, I have a sign on my wall that says: Life begins at the end of your comfort zone. I framed that quote and hung it three months before I quit my day job to write full-time. When I first came across that quote a few years before quitting I can remember two immediate and dissonant responses. One was, Hell yeah!—let’s start my real life! The second response was, Fuck! That sounds scary as hell.
Because the truth is, even though I hated my office job and was more than ready to leave it behind for good, an unknown future was the scariest thing I could imagine back then. And once I left, I found myself repeatedly sitting at the top of life’s rollercoaster ride, understanding with sweaty armpits and a pounding heart— there would be no turning back … ever again.
I may have figured this creative life out and found my rhythm, but this has not been an easy road to take. There have been tears and panic and comfort zones repeatedly yanked away, leaving me stumbling. But guess what? I didn’t die. I’m still standing.
Also, once I got used to living a life of not knowing what comes next, I actually started to have some FUN, more fun than I imagined possible.
As for blogging here … umm …. now is just not a good time. Book writing is front and center for the time being.
I love you! Keep shining!
P.S. I taught myself how to crochet last winter. I’m wearing my first homemade cardigan whilst crocheting my very first sweater coat. Check out my Instagram (@onbecomingmaria) for more pictures.