There was once a time in my life when I believed all the thoughts which popped up in my head were entirely mine. Why wouldn’t I? My ideas to cultivate, my mind rambles to utter, my intelligence to expand, my foolishness for folly, my self-flagellations to abuse, and my creeds to live by.
I thought these things without question until the day came when I quit my job and began making discoveries about life sans daily interactions with co-workers. I stopped wearing make-up and began wearing my dreds more freely, loosely hanging or wild looking up-dos. In small measures, baby steps actually, I began embracing the freedom of an anonymous writer’s life. Gone were the office people, particularly the women, who it seemed I couldn’t get dressed in the morning without thinking of and anticipating reaction from, even if the reaction was no reaction.
All of a sudden, during days outside, I was deliciously lost among the droves of people in stores, in banks, on streets, at gas stations and in malls who seemed to barely notice me. Gradually, I stopped stealing glances at them on errands, wondering if anyone was staring, becoming less and less self-conscious as my carefree days piled on. Other than occasional quick looks, most people barely notice me.
All these years on the planet, as a woman, I had felt such tremendous pressure to look presentable. I didn’t realized how outright feminity had been hijacked by the masculine and repackaged to make me think I had a particular image to uphold.
For instance, I thought starving myself for more than three decades in order to maintain a size six in pants was an idea of my own making. It wasn’t.
My parents were staunch enforcers of the patriarchal message about thinness being more appealing than thickness. I can remember them spewing their anti-heft, anti-thick, pro-thin and pro-skinny messages before I was even in a training bra. When it came to commentaries about our bodies, my sister and I found ourselves in a subtle and tacit dogfight, trying to out-skinny each other for parental approval. We each went on to battle deep-seated body image issues for most of our adult lives.
Quitting the job and unplugging from the world of media— entertainment, social and otherwise— is akin to escaping a prison-like existence where I teetered on death’s brink and lived to tell my story. It also feels like I washed up on shore— after fighting the ocean and sharks for days, thinking I would die— coughing, gasping, hysterical with laughter, relieved to find myself still breathing.
Holy shit! I have my life back and I get to live it as I please.
Behold!— The fat rolls in this picture. These are fat rolls which, in the short space of a mere twelve months, I have come to cherish as a lovely emblem of middle-aged, womanly body. I haven’t worn a bikini of any kind since I was twenty-two years old. Twenty-two! Because even with a string bean kind of figure as a young woman, back in those days, thanks to some savvy propaganda coming at me from all sides of the world, including from my own parents, I thought my body was too awful to look at.
I’m better today with my body ….. finally.
Speaking of transformations, I began this blog as an online journal, unsure of where it would lead and yet willing to follow its certain evolution.
Blogging here helped me in huge ways I couldn’t have anticipated. I have been able to write through the demons, the mind wranglings, teasing and puzzling solutions out until my mind began its untangle. Blogging gave me the courage to take back more of my life. As I continue, I realize it’s time for more changes.
This blog is transforming, as it is no longer just a personal journal. This blog has also become my business. I am a creative entrepreneur who produces and promotes content.
Why? Because I want to inspire others.
I create content for the person who has forgotten how magnificent they are, to remind her or him about the uniqueness of their own life’s journey. No one can imitate our experiences combined with our outlooks; add some passion to that and you have a combination which is the formula for potential magic.
So this blog is headed for a re-launch sometime around mid- to late-fall.
Who is it for?
Every and any one can read my blog and discover a take-away or two. I appreciate ALL readers. But in particular, my target audience are women who might be questioning their own purpose in life, women who are tired of the daily routine, and hungry for something more. I am targeting women who have inhaled and choked on so many negative messages about themselves as females, they might have forgotten just how completely fabulous they truly are.
I am also targeting the person who has their head down, getting life done and occasionally battling feelings of unloved-ness. Some of us were fortunate enough to have at least ONE person in life rooting for us, who showed us love, nurture and care.
I didn’t get that from either parent. I was abused sexually, verbally and physically, and there was no other adult available to step in on my behalf. As much as I tried mightily to overcome this, alcoholism and a slew of other bad choices, is an indication of how not having that kind of start nearly destroyed me.
The world is teeming with boisterous, loved people who usually see to it that their voices are heard and they grab as much attention as they can carry. Awesome! We should all be this excited about life. But for the quiet ones in the world, who sometimes feel uncertain about their own importance, who think their voice belongs only in the deep, dark crevices of their humble heart, I am screaming for them to STAND UP because it’s time for each of us to shine.
My hope is that someone consumes the content I offer and starts thinking about sharing their own gifts, be it a new product, a blog, a book, a podcast or whatever creation they’ve been holding back from the world. Ordinary people have been quiet for long enough, this world desperately needs their shine.
Speaking of shining, this post is the first in a series of pre-fabricated content which will appear by scheduled auto-post for the next six weeks (maybe more). I am making time for myself to focus more on the book-writing, new content development and enjoying a little summer downtime with my family.
I will be mostly off the grid when it comes to online presence, which also means I’ll be absent in the comments section. Comments are still more than welcome, but if anyone would like to get in touch for a response, you can email me at email@example.com. I am checking email just once a week, so the response time might be a tiny bit delayed. Blog posts and podcast episodes will go up once a week. Instagram and Facebook posts will be more frequent but they are also pre-scheduled. Not following me on IG and FB? How about Twitter? You’re missing more excellent posts! Click the icons at the bottom of the page to find me elsewhere.
Thanks for being a part of my creative journey! And in case you’re wondering, you should know, I had some outstanding assistance to help guide my evolution. I had the great fortune of working with an excellent business coach, Michelle Ward. You can find her and more information at When I Grow Up, a business coaching site.
Thank you thank you thank you, for reading along here! I adore you guys! Stay tuned for more great content, including a blog post about lessons learned two years after quitting work, and a middle-finger up story that recently mortified me. So much good stuff ahead! We’re only just getting started here. 🙂
Have a great rest of summer!