I used to think I couldn’t talk about my mother because I thought to talk about her would be a denouncement of us both, like we failed in our roles as mother and daughter somehow, as if somethings were intrinsically wrong with us for not being able to go through life loving each other more properly than we seemed able to.
At last, I have turned another beautiful corner in my life. The day came when I discovered the courage to tune out the conflicting ubiquitous social messages about motherhood, daughterhood, and the feminine way. I learned to tune in to my own heart and my own thinking. It wasn’t easy but it has been way more doable than many of us realize, discussing the sometimes painful ties of family bonds.
We humans are each smarter and more gifted than the social order alludes. Our unique experiences in life are actual works of art. Once ago, during tens of thousands of different seasons, someone shared their story, giving us permission and courage to tell our own. The dominoes have fallen, humanity cascades, and so it goes.
Discussing the relationship I have with my mother was one of the most difficult episodes for me to record. My old friend, Shame poked her head in for a gander but unlike the old days when she reigned my mind freely, this time all she could do was watch with her lips zipped.
This podcast episode is a declaration of love for the brave-hearted among us who don’t mind the world knowing that sometimes, despite our best efforts, we can still err as humans do. The binary ideas taught to us — good/bad, white/black, love/hate, up/down — are too narrow to aptly depict the exquisite depths of our humanity.
As for Mama and me, we can hold our head high, and we may even preen a little too, because guess what? Together, we got it as right as circumstances, flaws and wisdom would allow. Ultimately, we are all angels fleshly walking through this world.