When Blocked, I Make A List

My mind is everywhere and nowhere right now, which means I can’t think of what to write and yet somehow, my brain is bubbling with a bunch of things I’d like to say. So I’m gonna lay these thoughts down the way I would in my private journal.

***Pillow-talk~ The Hubs and I have pillow-talks every morning before we face the day, seven days a week. They average about 30 minutes each, but sometimes one can be as short as ten minutes or as long as two hours if it’s the weekend. After thirteen years of marriage, I still have a huge crush on this man and rely heavily on the perks our friendship.

***During pillow-talk this morning The Hubs encouraged me to keep writing here. And even though I would have kept on with or without his blessing, I love that he said it because it bolsters my courage.

***Another pillow-talk topic this morning, my old job. I won’t say all the specifics but the bottom line is, thank God I left that place. It was sucking all the light and energy out of me. I had my own office … with a door! But it just wasn’t the kind of gig where I could be left alone without people taking it personally. So I felt forced to mingle in the office culture. Some days I was okay with it, but there were way too many days where I was like, just fuckin shoot me.

***I am a writer. I am trying my hand at multiple writing projects currently. When I left my day job eight months ago it felt exciting and even a little romantic. But now? It feels scary and extraordinarily difficult. Was it a mistake to leave the job? Absolutely not. I am fifty years old and still discovering who I am and how I tick. One of my recent revelations is, I am not wired for constant human dramas. Too distracting. I have demons, I combat a history of genetically blessed mental illness and I need my space.

***I hate this list. I think it looks dumb but I’m going to publish it, so I can move on to my next task.

*Sigh* The writer’s journey …..