Right now I’m feeling like this blog was the worst idea I ever had. I feel overexposed and extremely uncomfortable.
You know what that tells me? That I am on the right track. Yep. I hate to admit that out loud, but it’s the truth. Each time I have ever stepped outside my comfort zone, amazing and wonderful occurrences befell me, maybe not right away, but eventually.
So I’m going to keep pressing forward with this blog. I don’t hate the exposure necessarily, I’m just not used to it. And the voices in my head are chirping frantically because alcoholics like me are accustomed to hiding and secrecy. I’m okay here, writing my life as some of it unfolds. I am becoming and that’s all that really matters.
Today I revisited this book, A Year of Living Consciously, for additional validation that I am on the right track with this verbal vomit blog of mine. I found this on the April 20th page:
As you go through your day, look for any ways in which you’re living within your comfort zone. Ask yourself if there are “growth edges” you are not exploring because to do so would disturb your routines. Select a growth edge and take action on it — even if it’s uncomfortable to do so.
Yes! That’s what I have been doing.
And for even more validation, I remembered this quote by Eleanor Roosevelt-
Shit yeah! You better believe these new endeavors are scaring me! But I can do scary things and win. It’s not the first time I’ve stared down my fear, it won’t be the last. This week. Yeesh! This week was an awful rollercoaster of scary. Reaching out to family and friends, telling them, Look! I started another blog! And this time I’m really pouring my guts out. Come look and judge me! Even though I know most of them are doing the exact opposite, cheering and sending me love.
I can’t explain it, but this is a necessary journey for me. It’s been nearly two years in the making and I’ve come too far to turn back now. This entry will be an important one for me to remember because it will be a record of how I panicked just before I struck gold in the coming of a new season. Yes, blogging like this is the worst idea I ever had but it’s also the best thing I have ever done for my writing journey.
Eeeep! Go Me, go!